Can we agree to disagree?

I heard someone was spreading some unkind words about me. I laughed because I could only guess it was because I didn't agree with something they planned. Normally, I ignore these things but then I wondered, how can we return to a community where disagreement doesn’t lead to disrespect? Where we can fall out and still treat each other with decency? From the dinner table to the conference table, too many of us have lost the ability to see things differently without becoming enemies.

And it shows.

We see it in the constant political shade-throwing. We see it in the rise of domestic and street violence. We see it online, where people type things they’d never dare say face-to-face. I call them keyboard ninjas. Somewhere along the way, we stopped making room for each other’s humanity. That’s not who we are, or at least, it’s not who we have to be.

If we want better, we have to be better. That starts with raising the standard in our homes, our circles, and our community. It starts with small, consistent acts of respect and accountability. The truth is, too many of us are waiting for leadership to fix what we can repair ourselves.

I believe that our small and dynamic community can be better. We’ve got the heart. We’ve got the creativity. However, we need to restore our ability to disagree without disrespect, and that’s going to require all of us.

So here's how we start:

• Stop making assumptions and ask questions.
• Where there is disagreement, look for common ground.
• Forgive, even if you don't forget. Bitterness will poison your peace.
• Call your friends in, not out. Challenge them with respect and dignity.
• When one door closes, look for another door that opens.
• Stop looking up for change. Start looking within.

Culture can change, but only if we do. Let's build the kind of community we're proud to pass on.